christmas

i know what i want for christmas...





man i'm still trying to put aside all distractions and follow only the big guy. it's quite hard but hopefully retreat will help me refresh my spirtual walk i just hope it just isnt a emotional rile up...i really hope that i will reroute my walk into the narrow path. these last past weeks i realized the root of all my unhappiness...the lack of God's presence in my life. i realized in this last month i completely shut everything out and just pursued the easy way to kill the pain and that all the entries i did about praising God where genuine at the time i wrote it but as soon as i shut my laptop i wasnt thankful at all. i've fallen away too much too fast and this falling away shows how weak i am and how easily emotional distress effects me. i'm also realzing that you never really know how much something means to you until its gone...i think i've lost so much in this past month. suffered way more then i should've, i know that people out there are hurting more but any amount of pain is painful. i've lost one of the most important things in my life...my morals i guess and i lost a big part of my life as well...but ive got hope for the future. even though i'm thankful Jesus Christ was born this christmas pretty much sucked...i wish this christmas was like last christmas;happy and hopeful. theres always next year but then again you never know what 365 days can bring about...well it's time to try to get myself on track with God again. i know He is the only one who can mend my wounds and help me carry on because He has been carrying me this whole time. i know He has a plan for me let's just hope i can follow through.

time

it's time to drop everything and follow God...but its so hard to let go of stuff
i can't help but think this is making everything worse...oh how i wish things were different. i could've taken different steps and everything could've turned out different,so different. Gah i'm an idiot whatevers...but frick why do i feel like this? i just wish...

drop errthang

sometimes i wish i was like the 12 disciples...i wish i could just drop everything and follow the Big Guy but its so hard and it makes me sad because i'm thinking so hard over this but its such an obvious decision...dangit
christmas is coming...i dont feel it tho dang i'm so bleh

meh

idk dudes...i'm in a dilemma. physical pleasures or retreat to God and quite possibly lose the respect of those who i care for the most...fuck

as of late

i need to get right with God...i'm dealing with this in the most definite wrong way.

"God loves
Take one step toward him, he takes two toward you
Even when all else fail, God supports you"
-Nas(Doo Rag)

finals!

man i love studying for finals...but after next thursday! TIME TO CHEEEELLLL! sometimes i wish things wouldve turned out differently but then again im content with where i am. still feel like i'm going nowhere...and i'm not sure if its because i'm a korean guy or if its just me but i realized its really hard for me to talk about how i feel...idk its weird OH WELLS! :D christmas time!

life

Everything is awesome and I'm really happy with myself and life is good...but my life feels like a scatter plot graph, no direction.

tight

I can't believe my first semester as a college student is about to end and it's been one heck of a ride...I've experienced a lot in these last 3 months and i've met a lot of people too. And despite all the ups and downs i'm a pretty happy guy right now, i'm delighting in the Lord and trying live a life of thanksgiving and you know i think by living this way im showing God i trust in Him with every aspect of life. i really hope that this will rub off on other people around :]

mmmm

i'm hoping that everything that happens is for the best...life is good but complicated :] i love procrastinating NOT lol frick FML but jk because God is good!

As I sit here...

...ON MY TOILET! hey everybody thanksgiving wasn't as great as i thought it would be, but dang I sure am thankful for everything that i've experienced and received this year. I realize more and more everyday how gracious the Big Guy Upstairs is and how like everything He does works out. It's really funny how things work out, and through my short 18 years I'm realizing that when I'm in a "turbulence" in life all I got to do is trust in Him and though it may be hard God will carry me through it and end up teaching me a valuable lesson and help me grow spiritually and emotionally. Man, I love God. He is so amazing and everytime I think back on a time where I had drama or a trouble...it makes me realize that it helped me make the person I am today and its cool how God planned this all out. It's like one of those crazy big dominoes like at first you don't see much but in the end of everything you see a beautiful masterpiece revealed...and I don't know about you guys but that gives me comfort knowing that God has a great plan for me and each and every one of us.

my friends

I'm very thankful for my friends. :]

Everything is beautiful.

I mean what else is there to say? i realize more and more how much of God's magnificence and beauty I am immersed in. It's quite awesome. God is good amen?

Get Back Up Again.

I realized that everything that happens is a learning experience...no matter how hard i fall on my knees i realized i can always get back up, but stronger.I'm really super duper ultra multra thankful that God has given me this amazing gift of optimism...I know it's hard to believe but the first thing i did when i was put into this situation was pray and i prayed a prayer of praise and thanksgiving. It's super hard for alot of people to comprehend the fact that even though I should be crying and what not I'm being optimistic and just rejoicing. I know everything that has happened, happened for a reason and I'll never forget the good times...but slowly and surely I will move on. I hope me and her both grow from this experience, and that we both grow in Christ and through this we will both realize God's plan for the both of us. I'm glad that i met her and i know we will always be friends.But for now it's time for both of us to move on an become spiritually prepared for the future. I'm really glad that I'm super optimistic I hope that this trait of mine will be rubbed off onto all my friends and the rest of the world...we all need optimism. And i know I'm rambling but I realize that since Jesus came and died for all of us none of us on this earth should be hopeless...man God is good for sending His only son so that us hopeless people would have a little glimmer of hope MAN that blows my mind...ok well 'nuff said. To sum everything up God is good, God is hope, and life goes on.

quotes

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.

Anonymous

The End.

"you don't really appreciate something until it's gone" man...its crazy how that maxim is so true. I'm realizing how important she was...until now. I messed up and I'm reaping what I sowed. Today at church we had a sermon about going into the wilderness and going through hardships, and through no matter what I should always be thankful and give praise to God. I'm trying to do just that...but it's so hard. Hopefully God has her planned for me later on.dangit is all i can say right now. I really hope this hardship is going to train me for later on...and i know even though i feel so...lonely and by myself God is right next to me with His arm around my shoulder...i love you

Firey mess

Dang this weekend has been very...uneventful.Dangit jess THANKS FOR LEAVING US! frick. ANYWHOS i realized this past weekend how important each of my friends are to me, because if one is gone it seems like noone wants to hang out! what theff. but yea today was so wizack. It started out with my waking up at 10 30 and getting a call from my friend jeanna who needed help moving. SO i agreed and helped her move from fullerton to DB...it should've been a 15 min trip back from fullerton. BUT the fires....the fires came and all the freeways were blocked, not only that the uhaul truck we took broke down at a gas station!SO we called AAA and uhaul for help. They told us they would send a dispatch tow truck and they did, AAA told us that it would take 15 minutes BUT we suddenly realized that friggin all the freeways were blocked and all the local routes were hella jammed SO i spent my saturday waiting 6 hours for the tow truck. i missed out on fun today :[ frick. i hope tomorw is better...i really do. FIRCK HURRY AND COME BACK JESS! :[ we need you here. man one weekend without hanging out with my League of Superfriends feels like i haven't seen them in EONS!

(insert title here)

I'm really scared right now.

eh

i don't know why i made the choices i made...but everything happens for a reason. It's hard but I have to praise God and give thanks in every situation...but man it's hard. whatevers everything works out for the better no matter how sticky,crappy, and bad the outcome is. fml
OH btw i was reading my old posts...and i realized boy did i change ALOT like the way i talk my priorities and when i read some of the stuff i read im just like "wtf? i wrote that?" lol man...time really does change people and time has pretty much hardened me. I'm coming to MANY realization, i realize that I'm not as much of a warm person anymore...i'm a pretty cold person. i realized i can't befriend random people anymore and i also realized i look at the world differently now...ok guys NOW you must do that long list of ridiculous to gain access to my personal realm. if you mess one thing you get a jumping flyinf double kick to the neck. POW!

sundays

dang dude so i realized more and more how much of life i DONT have...right now it revolves around watching stocks(i own none) and video comments. I really do wish videocommenting on facebook was an occupation because like i would be The Chosen One of this job. but nope theres no way i can survive in life with this talent i have. Funny thing is people are requesting video comments LOL! man it feels good knowing people laugh AT me not WITH me oh well...it don't matter. I made a kid cry today, it was something over ridiculous too. He called me fat and saw the anger burn in my eye and he did a quick save by saying "Or is that muscle?" so i got him in a headlock and he started crying....i felt horrible especially because he was 17 years old. Oh well lol. But I'm really enjoying the people i hang out with currently...it would friggin awesome if my girlfriend was here though. Boy do i miss her :[ frick why couldn't NY be like next to CA? oh well but i really do love my homies and homettes they're so awesome. I was thinking...and i dont understand why the people who follow this blog follow it lol especially because like i see them almost everyday (sorry smeza i miss you!)and nothing really happens in my life! but even though nothing happens i see God's amazingness everywhere...it's hard to see sometimes but when you just sit in the silence and observe everything around you, you slowly realize that everything you're surrounded by ,no matter how boring it is, was all made by God and man that just blows my mind. It's so hard to like pour out what's going on in my life on this blog...because its so impersonal when people read about my problems.As of now I've no problems! I'm pretty content with life and I hope everyday is a new adventure and I also hope that I will be welcome to change whenever and whatever it may come and be. WELL this is the longest entry of my life and I will never do this again...NEVER so if you want to read more about what's snapping in me life...come in front of me and snort 3 times, do the chicken dance, do 2 and 1/2 backflips, bring me a shirt of mythril(dragonscales), an ewoks paw, a sandraiders sword, one half cup of boulder juice,three glasses of curvash, 7 teaspoons of Essence of Resanthumilong, and lastly master my secret ultra super mega covert handshake.

today

dang dude...to be honest I didn't want this day to end. I've realized I'm blessed to have not gone off the college because...my best friends are still here with me.Well, at least until summer ends...then my best friends go off to college. aw frick

dry contacts

dude...i love dry contacts because when i blink all crazy like people think that I'm winking at them. Talking about winking half the girls that i know...wait no 3/4 of the girls that i know cant wink to save their lives. It is so funny because they try so hard to wink but they just cant. It's heart breaking but so friggin funny. But i digress...i love regulating makes me feel so...regulatory. yeee i love water that is basic...taste so darn good. Talking about water i love fiji water. I hope the people who follow this blog...ALLLLL 2 of them (:[) get pissed off when they see this. I am in need of a life...right now. I want to destroy this one guy...actually two guys. Show them the true meaning of Fists Of Fury....they have no idea what is coming to them. Thosee *beep* *beep* mother *beep* *beep* *beep* Beepp*. That's right...radio edit. But anywho yea. Gn1T3 everybody...bringing that AZN PRYD3 thing back. <3 ">

OH BTW..DONT MESS WITH US...it is bad for your health.

cover up

i realized im very good at hiding what im really feeling. lifes chill but its starting to hit some turbulance...someone save me please

:[

dangit :[ i miss jennifer so much...dangit

the end

we gots two days left in highschool...but it doesnt feel like it. feels super surreal ive always dreamt of graduation but never thought it would come so fast...im gonna miss being sheltered. end of a chapter in my life and a brand new chapter is about to start. im pretty stoked for summer...mang its gonna be TIGHT. TEAMMATES! WE"RE GONNA KICK IT ERRDAY! even if u have summerschool! bonquiqui and wadidadang! -------->

thats how we gonna look errday!

messedup

dang...i messed up big time. i feel like crap. i dont know what do...fuck

ignorance

i was a victim of racism and prejudice today...i hate people who get racist on you just becuase you follow the rules of the road. makes me so mad...i hope God blesses those people who called me a chink.

God's plan

maaaaaaan. every letter from a college i get is a letter of rejection. it is really hard to trust in God right now and even harder to believe that He has something better in store for me...but it's times of trials and tribulation when character is built. i really hope that i get in at least one university

bittersweet

you know life has been pretty chill lately. everything is pretty good...got good friends, it's senior year, pretty good in my walk with Christ, got a girl...everything is pretty good but even with all this sweetness there is bitterness. it is a pretty crappy feeling when you await college acceptance letters and instead of acceptance letters you get rejction letters, and what makes even worse are those people who make fun of you for being rejected. thankfully the friends im close with are all pretty supportive and help me out in this time but man i do despise those who are negative and try to make other people negative...freaking haters. but hey life is still pretty good

Three Little Birds

you know what i realized in the last couple of weeks? i have realized that life is too short and that it shouldnt be spent worrying and being angry. life is way too short to have enemies and so i made peace with the few people i had beef with and it feels pretty good. why spend like worrying when i know the God has everything in his hands and in his control? today i prayed with my friends andrew and richelle during passing period...it was the 2nd time i did that at school and im begining to like it, makes me go to class with a smile and i really do like it and i think about it everyone should stop worrying about their troubles. it's like bob marley's song Three Little Birds...every little thing, is gonna be alright! there is always a brighter day! so im going to try to live life on the brighter side and stop worrying as much. i also realized when i trust in God life becomes a little more brighter. i know it sounds very corny but i think its true...all you christian brothers and sisters out there should try it. trust more in God and you will find yourselves smiling more and being more positive. well thats all ive got to say

torn apart

what to do...

Sunshine

it has been very dark and gloomy lately and makes everything more sad. everytime i see a little beam of sun it makes me smile. it made me realize that there is always hope and that even the smallest light shines in the darkness. im in a dilemma. i dont know if i should give up or keep hoping that something might work out. if i give up i will have so many opportunties but if i keep hoping theres a chance that i succeed and theres a chance that i might fail. but then again life is about taking risks and chances. maaaan. i break concrete falling for you.

Trooper

man I have come to the realization that being christian is really hard. everyday i come face to face with sin and im trying my best to resist and fight temptation but sometimes...its just really hard. prayer and reading the Bible are my weapons. i need to focus more on God and continue fighting the good fight. if there are fellow christians reading this please pray for me so i will stay strong and continue being a good christian. on a brighter note God is good, no joke. He makes me realize everyday how weak i am without Him and shows me all my weaknessess. i really need to fix a lot of stuff in my life. i thank God everyday for showing me how to become a stronger christian. i also thank God for everything he has created. I realized im surrounded by so much beauty and that all this beauty was created by God and it completely blows me away and the fact that He knows the name of everything He has created and every single detail about it makes me even more amazed. i am so thankful and greatful for such an awesome and loving God. He is good.

fading

hmm God is good.
but idk whats going on in my heart right now...so confused

hmmm

maaan
"friends" are awesome

Raze- to break down

Winter retreat was pretty awesome. i dont got no pictures =( but i realized i was dwelling in the past and that i shunned God so much during 2007. i really hope that i can stay strong in my faith. its amazing how fast my willpower was tested, as soon as i got back from retreat i was offered weed WOW! but i refuesed =).
i have sooo much to be thankful about such as "friends" ;] and i realized that i just need to trust in God and i wont be worried, and so far its been working. ive been living everyday just trusting that God will provide and ive been pretty happy and worry free. for all you believers out there you shouldnt worry about the tribulations and troubles u're going through, instead rejoice in the Lord. you will be surprised how relieved u will be.