First single

Lil Boner(left) Young Jizzy (right)

Premiere of the new single by the dynamic duo Lil Boner and Young Jizzy
http://www.zshare.net/audio/6982843704ed7739/
(Warning Explicit lyrics)

end

man what an eyeopener...i should've handled that situation differently but it showed how immature we both are. we're both pretty shady, too shady to be involved in any kind of relationship with anyone.its for the best to not even acknowledge...for sure for the best. what a way to boost the process of getting over huh? anyways bout time i started getting over and moving on with errthang. for sure in the future...make sure no one ever goes through what she went through. maan what happened? jeesh so stressful to see how much has changed but its the past COME ON FUtURE HURRY THE EFF UP

problem

man...the past catches up quick sometimes
hope i never do anything like i did to her to anyone else...ever.

clarity

hate it when people are vague...its stupid. please be honest...if something bothers you or if you want something by pete's sake SAY IT

learning loving living

I've been learning alot lately. How to control my anger, my tongue, and how to act. I've especially seen the tongue part because in some instances where i could totally destroy someone or make someone feel like crap i don't. :D im glad that i can do that now or know when or when not to talk. I really hope I can become the mature christian i want to be. But being christian is so hard!(its worth it thought) I started doing p90x and MAN! am i dying!!! i really hope i can drop 15 lbs by january or feburary or by summer at least. i guess im doing this for myself and at the same time ;] the ladies. 3/4 of the way to moving on! i gots to let go of them memories 'cause by the way we talk she has already moved on...i realized that she isnt coming back ever but why can't i let go of them memories? i wonder if my mental image of her matches with who she really is. HMM oh wellz! man but right now i like how my lifes been going. good friends good times and good vibes all around...i really like the group of firends i've been kicking it with. its awesome

hm

sometimes it never ceases to amaze me how shady some peoeple are...no matter how much their shadiness kicks their butt they never change. it makes me curious. do they not see how shady they are?idk whatevz still thankful for homies though!

slkj

step 1/4 complete! i wish i was more creative so i can come up with creative namez! i realized i like being at home...moving out is overrated seriously.this past weekend i realized that without a car im helpless and not that many of my friends drive either...lamez dude.loving this weather for sure! bustin' out all my sweaters and stuffz tight dooode

strange

hmmm very strange. lately i've been slightly socially awkward...sometimes i'll meet someone new or even my friends but i'll have nothing to say and i'll just sit there feeling super awkward. its been happening alot especially around girls. very very weird...i don't know whats wrong with me. i like to think of myself as a pretty social guy but seriously lately i've been feeling very awkward around people. maybe i'm going crazy IDKz!

changes

theres alot of stuff that i should take into consideration. like following through with stuff...i realized that when it comes to friends i always stuff but most of times i dont follow through. i'm glad i got some good homies who point out that kind of stuff to me...sure i hate to hear it but i know i gots to. maybe thats why i lost her...not following through. i got alot of stuff to change about myself and i know that i've been given this life to be constantly growing and changing. i hope that some of the things i've done doesn't push my friends away. 'cause i really like the friends i have right now...i need this group of friends to be consistent, i'm tired of constantly changing friend groups. i'm determined to keep these friends life long...so i guess since i love em imma change for em. dang...my bad guys
for everyone who i've annoyed or hurt by some of the schtuff i do...my bad.
thats all i can say...i've gotta work in following through. dammit.

dangit

wish i knew how to play guitar and sing like john mayer

dangit

dangit dude...tom's are so dope!

memory

cant help but keep thinking about_________. its hard not to...dammit dude my minds preoccupied by one person.

running dry

...i realized i really dislike it when people get in my face. i'm so glad i'm not the old me, but still i don't know how long i can take it.
God give me strength. i need to be a man of prayer and i need to control my mouth...lesson well learned.

wishful thinking

sometimes i wish things would never go wrong. i believe the saying is true "good things never last". i really wished they would...dang it.



i feel like im in that car...everything going sosososo fast. can't believe its been almost 3 years its crazy.

ANYWAYS chillin' with the homies lately and its been SUPA fun. so sad alot of them be going back to berkley :[ can't wait to move in to my APARTMENT BABY! and i've also started my apps for cornell and UOR. hope i get in...dang dude i'm a 2nd year already.
that picture is super relative right now

eyes

i gotta open my eyes...sometimes the best way is a slap in the face.
right now i feel like a drunk person being slapped in the face, i feel nothing.
i want to say it isnt so, SO badly...but truth hurts i guess. i want to defend the both of them, but it is what it is. I really wish that it is a big misunderstanding but i KNOW it isn't and i really wish he was my homie. sometimes the best way is a slap in the face. you can truly tell who cares about you 'cause they're the ones who tell you straight out. truth hurts but i mean that's why the people who speak the truth are the loneliest.

naivity

man...i'm not letting go
ever. it'll be worth it hopefuly if not, i can say i tried my best

hardest part

hardest part is letting go...but the most rewarding at the end

back home

man...what a blessed short term missions it was.
this year went by so fast and i think its ;cause of my attitude...WAY different from last year...just really sad it had to end.
i've been doing alot of thinking and sometimes i wonder why i do things i do...why i say the things i say. alot of times i do it and regret it later idk why...maybe its human nature.
i should be mad about what happened...but i dont think that person knows that no matter what i can never be mad at that person.
this trip was such a growing opportunity and im sure i grew immensly from it i know i did...it was a big eye opener too.
hopefully i will not think that missions is over. i really hope and pray i will seriously have that mission mindset and heart.
just im curious to what i'll do in my free time...





























i've decided next 3-4 years imma grow spiritually and mature and i'll fulfill what i promised to you...

feels good to be home

MIA

i'm going to cambodia once again in a day...i'm pretty stoked i'll see you guys in august

chillin'

summers chill...im sorta excited 'cause i'm leaving for cambodia soon
even though vacation has slowed down sick i know august will be mad fun. nothings really running through my mind at the moment, just trying to stay and become a good/better christian. and i realized how much fun it is to kick it with family, never realized it until recently. its super dope y'all with siblings or close cousins should try it

how

how come some people ask for help but show that they really dont care about being helped?
and how do you approach a loved one and tell them that they're doing wrong and not offend them?...especially if you know they're offended by any type of corrections?
and how do you tell loved ones that they should change when you know that all you'll get is a slap in the face and be turned into an asshole?
how do you talk to a person who claims to be your friend but acts like a total jerk everytime you see them?

these questions have been plaguing my mind for the last week and has been even stumbling me. stumbling as in the way that some of my friends act really ticks me off...for example today i was totally thrown off by the way one of my "friends" reacted to me. it threw everyone off...that nigga needs to chill...man i don't get it. i try to be the nicest guy possible you know? and people usually tend to spit in my face and find some reason to hate me or be a total jerk to me.
i really wonder if any of this people have any idea of how badly my heartaches for them or how hard im trying to keep my temper or how im trying my best not to lose my cool and go all out... i wonder if they have ANY idea.
if anything they probably think im a dumbass and that they could probably take me...man that makes me sad.
i guess all i can do is seek God's guidance and pray for them...and hold my tongue and keep my fists at my side.
so hard to do...SO hard but i love my homies so i'll do my best to silently pray for them and take whatever happens to me.










PS: this isn't directed to you,my brother from another mother just to clarify!

music

Distortion to Static-The Roots

Stay-Common ft. Lauren Hill



GO LISTEN

good terms

it's weird how sometimes you can be so angry with someone but as soon as you see them all of that anger just disappears...realized the decision that was made was the best possible choice and its on good terms. maybe one day in the future,maybe this is what <3 feels like? being able to let someone go and be happy that they're going to become a better person and forgetting all resentment and grudges at their sight? maybe idk im still young.

PS: i dont mean agape <3...the other type yaddimean?

hardest thing

the hardest thing to do is to hold my tongue...allowing my words to be words of gentle kindness and not words that are harsh and hurtful. i hope i can keep my words kind and gentle...its so hard to swallow pride and be nice sometimes.

question?...nvm i answered it

im becoming a progressively harder person...and i dont mean as in muscular even though i am pretty muscular now (JK!) but im becoming colder. it sucks though 'cause im trying to stay the warm loving person instead of the cold indifferent person i am becoming. i know that i should be staying away from this 'cause im christian but as i get closer to God things are getting harder. at least i know im doing something right when it comes to faith...but i know that through QT and seeking guidance from God i will still stay the same. i just answered my own question -_- thanks blogger! yea!

"blood is thicker than water"

i've got alot more time now, and going off of that i realized i'm really absent in the lives of my brothers. i want to be there for them but i tend to be selfish and do my own thing. i need to get crackin' on the whole positive influence thing and take care of them. 'cause when my parents are gone all i'll have will be them...thats a scary thought. i need to be there for my brothers more and help steer them in the right direction so they don't eff up like i did. gotta be a better brother!

change

it's going to be weird...things aren't going to be the same after next week.
they're going to feel super odd. lets hope i dont let it get to me foreal, can't believe some of the shtuff that happened this past week. it was all worth it today though, felt SOO good when i saw those people stand up during the outreach altar call...there was a celebration in heaven today! i feel like summer is going to be so much more difficult then the school year....SOOO much more.




straight up: shits gonna be weird

burdens

best way to rid once self of burdens is by giving it up to God. i'm so glad that i picked up lifting weights, i got to say that it is THE best way to relieve stress and anger...i want to look like the hulk JK

just imagine my head on that body its gna be tight...and i really want these shoes THEY SO DOPE

love

i need to show love to everyone no matter what happens.

feels good to see the results of my working out showing...makes me happy LOL

hardships create perseverance.

addiction

i'm developing an addiction and obsession...it's weird i've never been so into it before BUT lifting weights and getting bigger is like fueling my life now lol i hope it dont get to bad but it will be friggin tight when the results show

people

it sucks to know that everyone in my life will fail me and continuously disappoint me...even those that i love. and i will fail those in my life too...maybe thats why its hard for me to open up to people now a days...idk why is it that people i love usually push me away and when i'm nice to someone they usually end up shitting all over me? i dont get it...maybe i should stop being how i am...be more closed and not as friendly. i gotta stop thinking so much...only things that make sense right now is God and hitting the gym.




God please give me a more loving heart...please?

dang

i hope my hair grows quick

you are who you kick it with

i realized it's very hard to be yourself and that society has a tendency to kill everyone's individuality. kill is a harsh word but you know what i mean if someone is being themselves people tend to tell them to stop being themselves and it gets me disappointed...(these are just random thoughts that pop in my head while i drive so just to clear things up i'm not sad or nothing)life would be so much easier if the people around you were more accepting. i think the worst question ever thought up EVER was the question of "choose____ or choose God" i absolutely HATE that question because i know the answer...and that answer is God and i know by saying that i will lose friends. it's heartbreaking but i know that its ALWAYS the right answer to choose God...i wish i was like the 12 disciples i think its so amazing how they were able to drop everything and just follow Christ...i realized that ive never in my life have had a consistent group of friends...but i am glad i do have consistent friends in my life even if we do end up doing our own things for awhile i know we always on good terms. talking about friends; what they say is true "you are who you kick it with"...

If we get to see tomorrow I hope it's worth all the wait It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

i find myself reminiscing alot...i really miss some of those days long ago. i think about it and remember thinking "i hope this never ends" there was this one week in particular...i think it was one of the best weeks of my life. every single day i hung out with a certain group of people...i think they know who they are. so much has changed since that epic week in 2007...and i'm glad how things worked out!!! :] ACED my tests tight my dream is almost within reach!! tizite
ps: DONT WORRY IM NOT DEPRESSED -_- i just miss the old dayss

uphill battle

sometimes i feel like i'm fighting one...also feels like sometimes the people i care about the most push me away. oh well, what can I do...nada. gotta keep pushin' on i guess

친구

if yall don't know what that means or don't know how to read it, it is korean for Friend. I know its super lame but i was watching a korean movie called 친구 and there was a line in it that made me think " a friend is a close and long companion". It made me think...do i have these kind of friends? and i realized that i do...and i'm glad i do. I'm glad that i have a small group of close and long companions, 'cause i know they'll be there for me and i'll be there for them, i mean there are those periods of times when you're super close with some people but they seem to all just drift away. But, lately i've been realizing more and more that there have been some people who have always been in my life and have seen every stage of me...y'all niggas know who you be. I really hope that i am able to hold on to these 친구's for the rest of my life..and i'm sure that i will.

homies

My parents always told me that the friends i make in college are the ones that are going to stick with me through out my life. I'm seeing that this true 'cause i really don't keep up with many of my friend from highschool maybe aside from like 3 people. I hope i make some good lifetime brothas while in university. For my friends from highschool...i still got love. It sucks that no one keeps up after graduating highschool, everyone becomes preoccupied with their own lives...and i'm guilty of that too. I was thinking and sometimes i wish i had taken some different steps in junior year...everything might be different. But i'm happy with how everything ended up...i'm sure its for the best and how God intended...this one song called Gettin' Up-Q tip describes errthang...they're getting up...listen to that song its tight.

Blue Scholars

hey guys if you're reading this y'all need to look up Blue Scholars...they're friggin sick...good song to start you off is Still Got Love. An amazing song for sure!

YOU!ME!DANCING!

my official new favorite song(the entry title) LOL
its a from this tight band dude look em up Los Campesinos they're quite awesome...the music is so upbeat makes you wanna go run through a field of grass with a bunch of people in shortshorts and headbands its friggin awesome

step back

i realized that i've been really enjoying my time alone...it's quite weird of me. I really like staying home and studying and reading books and stuff more then going out and stuff...i hope i aint becoming anti-social LOL.Sorry to my homies and just to tell you guys i am NOT at playing video games i'm getting ish done so i hope y'all are proud of me and i found a new hobby...music fishing with dennis LOL its pretty fun and exiciting.maaaaaan can't wait to spring break :]

mmm

this entry is to apologize to all my friends. sorry guys that i've been so MIA, but i've decided i have to sacrifice some pleasures in life and do what i go to do to pursue my dream and what i consider happiness.don't get my wrong you guys have all brought of happiness into my life but i'm not too happy with where i am. i hope all you guys(teammates) understand.i can't stay here...i need to get out of this bondage called Socal...i gots to do what i gots to do...sorry everybody

enjoy

raindrops dripping off my window sill sounds so soothing

dizang

for some reason lately i've been doing A LOT of deep thinking LOL for no reason...i feel all profound and philosophical.i realized that a lot of people question my intelligence because of my goofball persona...it sucks lol OH WELL. all i know is that my true friends know that i got alot going on in my noggin'...some real deep ish yaddimean? i'm |---| this much closer to reaching my dream :] IMMA COMIN'! :] ill be there soon...real soon

i dont understand.

feels like everyone i consider my loved ones are being so "eh" to me...i guess

destination:nowhere...NOT

why is that everyone's blog is the same in this period of time? "i'm going nowhere" it's really sad to see my friends so...down and out. it's even more sad when i know no matter how much i talk to them and cheer them up it's going to do nothing...but i guess theres are pretty depressing times...cliche as it sounds, there is going to be a brighter day and call me stupid and idealistic but everyone should try and find something to hope in and do something to change themselves and their lives. no more mope-ing and sulking guys...we all have the potential not to only change ourselves but change everything that brings you down. so everyone try to feel like you have worth, feel like you're going somewhere, and try to be that happy go-lucky kid again...i miss that. and i'd like to apologize to all my friends for being absent in your lives especially in times when you guys aren't doing well...i really am sorry.

miracle

dude it's a miracle that my face isnt swollen...i'm so confused lol WHY ISN'T MY FACE SWOLLEN lolol jkkj...it's a sad day i beat fallout 3. :[ starting tomorow i will disappear and commence project gtfoh (Get The F*** Outta Here) and it will be a pain but worth it...and i know for a fact things are going to happen for the better.

gotta work

so, i remember something my cousin told me when i first started university...it was something like "Motivation is what gets you started, Habit is what keeps it going" yea lol she told me and i realized it was her myspace headliner thing. But this semster i'm going to build a habit if working harder...sorry guys i'm going to start being semi-MIA 'cause i need to get the blood out of socal

zombies

dude frick i love killing them!

a good weekend

too bad it had to end :[ now the wait begins once again :]

skys the limit

I really like the song on my blog by Notorious B.I.G....makes me feel like i can pursue and achieve any goal i set my mind to with the help of God. 2009 is going to be a year of accomplishments and more change i hope :] hopeeveryone's new years day was as good as mind

happy new years!!

dang last year was definitely a very full year. so many things happened i experienced so much and i know all of that will be in my memory and help me become the person i am going to be one day lol i'm really excited to see what 2009 brings i've made 2 resolutions and i wont share them...well one person knows and you know who you are! but anyways 2009 here i come! retreat...man retreat was very awesome both of them! EM retreat was great because i got to make new friends and start the reconciliation of a broken one. man it was pretty refreshing to just get away from the world and get back to God. i really know what i gots to do now and this break has been pretty good but i'm sad that a lot of people are going back to school and i'm going to be by myself again it was really good seeing some people especially! but again about 2009 i hope everyone uses their time wisely because yesterday is gone forever...btw i feel a lot more relieved and free and i'm appreciating the family i have at church...i realized no matter what happens i can always find sanctuary in them.