how

how come some people ask for help but show that they really dont care about being helped?
and how do you approach a loved one and tell them that they're doing wrong and not offend them?...especially if you know they're offended by any type of corrections?
and how do you tell loved ones that they should change when you know that all you'll get is a slap in the face and be turned into an asshole?
how do you talk to a person who claims to be your friend but acts like a total jerk everytime you see them?

these questions have been plaguing my mind for the last week and has been even stumbling me. stumbling as in the way that some of my friends act really ticks me off...for example today i was totally thrown off by the way one of my "friends" reacted to me. it threw everyone off...that nigga needs to chill...man i don't get it. i try to be the nicest guy possible you know? and people usually tend to spit in my face and find some reason to hate me or be a total jerk to me.
i really wonder if any of this people have any idea of how badly my heartaches for them or how hard im trying to keep my temper or how im trying my best not to lose my cool and go all out... i wonder if they have ANY idea.
if anything they probably think im a dumbass and that they could probably take me...man that makes me sad.
i guess all i can do is seek God's guidance and pray for them...and hold my tongue and keep my fists at my side.
so hard to do...SO hard but i love my homies so i'll do my best to silently pray for them and take whatever happens to me.










PS: this isn't directed to you,my brother from another mother just to clarify!

music

Distortion to Static-The Roots

Stay-Common ft. Lauren Hill



GO LISTEN

good terms

it's weird how sometimes you can be so angry with someone but as soon as you see them all of that anger just disappears...realized the decision that was made was the best possible choice and its on good terms. maybe one day in the future,maybe this is what <3 feels like? being able to let someone go and be happy that they're going to become a better person and forgetting all resentment and grudges at their sight? maybe idk im still young.

PS: i dont mean agape <3...the other type yaddimean?

hardest thing

the hardest thing to do is to hold my tongue...allowing my words to be words of gentle kindness and not words that are harsh and hurtful. i hope i can keep my words kind and gentle...its so hard to swallow pride and be nice sometimes.

question?...nvm i answered it

im becoming a progressively harder person...and i dont mean as in muscular even though i am pretty muscular now (JK!) but im becoming colder. it sucks though 'cause im trying to stay the warm loving person instead of the cold indifferent person i am becoming. i know that i should be staying away from this 'cause im christian but as i get closer to God things are getting harder. at least i know im doing something right when it comes to faith...but i know that through QT and seeking guidance from God i will still stay the same. i just answered my own question -_- thanks blogger! yea!

"blood is thicker than water"

i've got alot more time now, and going off of that i realized i'm really absent in the lives of my brothers. i want to be there for them but i tend to be selfish and do my own thing. i need to get crackin' on the whole positive influence thing and take care of them. 'cause when my parents are gone all i'll have will be them...thats a scary thought. i need to be there for my brothers more and help steer them in the right direction so they don't eff up like i did. gotta be a better brother!

change

it's going to be weird...things aren't going to be the same after next week.
they're going to feel super odd. lets hope i dont let it get to me foreal, can't believe some of the shtuff that happened this past week. it was all worth it today though, felt SOO good when i saw those people stand up during the outreach altar call...there was a celebration in heaven today! i feel like summer is going to be so much more difficult then the school year....SOOO much more.




straight up: shits gonna be weird

burdens

best way to rid once self of burdens is by giving it up to God. i'm so glad that i picked up lifting weights, i got to say that it is THE best way to relieve stress and anger...i want to look like the hulk JK

just imagine my head on that body its gna be tight...and i really want these shoes THEY SO DOPE