christmas

i know what i want for christmas...





man i'm still trying to put aside all distractions and follow only the big guy. it's quite hard but hopefully retreat will help me refresh my spirtual walk i just hope it just isnt a emotional rile up...i really hope that i will reroute my walk into the narrow path. these last past weeks i realized the root of all my unhappiness...the lack of God's presence in my life. i realized in this last month i completely shut everything out and just pursued the easy way to kill the pain and that all the entries i did about praising God where genuine at the time i wrote it but as soon as i shut my laptop i wasnt thankful at all. i've fallen away too much too fast and this falling away shows how weak i am and how easily emotional distress effects me. i'm also realzing that you never really know how much something means to you until its gone...i think i've lost so much in this past month. suffered way more then i should've, i know that people out there are hurting more but any amount of pain is painful. i've lost one of the most important things in my life...my morals i guess and i lost a big part of my life as well...but ive got hope for the future. even though i'm thankful Jesus Christ was born this christmas pretty much sucked...i wish this christmas was like last christmas;happy and hopeful. theres always next year but then again you never know what 365 days can bring about...well it's time to try to get myself on track with God again. i know He is the only one who can mend my wounds and help me carry on because He has been carrying me this whole time. i know He has a plan for me let's just hope i can follow through.

time

it's time to drop everything and follow God...but its so hard to let go of stuff
i can't help but think this is making everything worse...oh how i wish things were different. i could've taken different steps and everything could've turned out different,so different. Gah i'm an idiot whatevers...but frick why do i feel like this? i just wish...

drop errthang

sometimes i wish i was like the 12 disciples...i wish i could just drop everything and follow the Big Guy but its so hard and it makes me sad because i'm thinking so hard over this but its such an obvious decision...dangit
christmas is coming...i dont feel it tho dang i'm so bleh

meh

idk dudes...i'm in a dilemma. physical pleasures or retreat to God and quite possibly lose the respect of those who i care for the most...fuck

as of late

i need to get right with God...i'm dealing with this in the most definite wrong way.

"God loves
Take one step toward him, he takes two toward you
Even when all else fail, God supports you"
-Nas(Doo Rag)

finals!

man i love studying for finals...but after next thursday! TIME TO CHEEEELLLL! sometimes i wish things wouldve turned out differently but then again im content with where i am. still feel like i'm going nowhere...and i'm not sure if its because i'm a korean guy or if its just me but i realized its really hard for me to talk about how i feel...idk its weird OH WELLS! :D christmas time!

life

Everything is awesome and I'm really happy with myself and life is good...but my life feels like a scatter plot graph, no direction.

tight

I can't believe my first semester as a college student is about to end and it's been one heck of a ride...I've experienced a lot in these last 3 months and i've met a lot of people too. And despite all the ups and downs i'm a pretty happy guy right now, i'm delighting in the Lord and trying live a life of thanksgiving and you know i think by living this way im showing God i trust in Him with every aspect of life. i really hope that this will rub off on other people around :]

mmmm

i'm hoping that everything that happens is for the best...life is good but complicated :] i love procrastinating NOT lol frick FML but jk because God is good!