Roddle Roddle

k-pop

2010-01-09T18:00:00.000-08:00

oh no

thats me in the middle with my friends K-pop

NEW YEARS

2010-01-01T06:01:00.000-08:00

2009...wasn't too good to me BBBBBUT it was a good year 'cause i learned alot. I for sure became more independent. Resolutions?
1.Became a man of God
2.Become better son,brother,friend
3.CONTINUE MMA
4.A's
5.MOVE ON!
6.become a master of unexpected drop kicks

<3 thanks 2009 you weren't too kind to me but i know your friend 2010 is going to be real nice;}

First single

2009-12-13T19:43:00.000-08:00

Lil Boner(left) Young Jizzy (right)

Premiere of the new single by the dynamic duo Lil Boner and Young Jizzy
http://www.zshare.net/audio/6982843704ed7739/
(Warning Explicit lyrics)

end

2009-12-12T16:30:00.000-08:00

man what an eyeopener...i should've handled that situation differently but it showed how immature we both are. we're both pretty shady, too shady to be involved in any kind of relationship with anyone.its for the best to not even acknowledge...for sure for the best. what a way to boost the process of getting over huh? anyways bout time i started getting over and moving on with errthang. for sure in the future...make sure no one ever goes through what she went through. maan what happened? jeesh so stressful to see how much has changed but its the past COME ON FUtURE HURRY THE EFF UP

problem

2009-12-11T22:17:00.000-08:00

man...the past catches up quick sometimes
hope i never do anything like i did to her to anyone else...ever.

clarity

2009-12-11T18:36:00.001-08:00

hate it when people are vague...its stupid. please be honest...if something bothers you or if you want something by pete's sake SAY IT

learning loving living

2009-12-03T02:22:00.000-08:00

I've been learning alot lately. How to control my anger, my tongue, and how to act. I've especially seen the tongue part because in some instances where i could totally destroy someone or make someone feel like crap i don't. :D im glad that i can do that now or know when or when not to talk. I really hope I can become the mature christian i want to be. But being christian is so hard!(its worth it thought) I started doing p90x and MAN! am i dying!!! i really hope i can drop 15 lbs by january or feburary or by summer at least. i guess im doing this for myself and at the same time ;] the ladies. 3/4 of the way to moving on! i gots to let go of them memories 'cause by the way we talk she has already moved on...i realized that she isnt coming back ever but why can't i let go of them memories? i wonder if my mental image of her matches with who she really is. HMM oh wellz! man but right now i like how my lifes been going. good friends good times and good vibes all around...i really like the group of firends i've been kicking it with. its awesome

hm

2009-11-28T17:31:00.000-08:00

sometimes it never ceases to amaze me how shady some peoeple are...no matter how much their shadiness kicks their butt they never change. it makes me curious. do they not see how shady they are?idk whatevz still thankful for homies though!

slkj

2009-11-23T09:27:00.000-08:00

step 1/4 complete! i wish i was more creative so i can come up with creative namez! i realized i like being at home...moving out is overrated seriously.this past weekend i realized that without a car im helpless and not that many of my friends drive either...lamez dude.loving this weather for sure! bustin' out all my sweaters and stuffz tight dooode

strange

2009-10-27T23:18:00.000-07:00

hmmm very strange. lately i've been slightly socially awkward...sometimes i'll meet someone new or even my friends but i'll have nothing to say and i'll just sit there feeling super awkward. its been happening alot especially around girls. very very weird...i don't know whats wrong with me. i like to think of myself as a pretty social guy but seriously lately i've been feeling very awkward around people. maybe i'm going crazy IDKz!

changes

2009-10-08T15:46:00.000-07:00

theres alot of stuff that i should take into consideration. like following through with stuff...i realized that when it comes to friends i always stuff but most of times i dont follow through. i'm glad i got some good homies who point out that kind of stuff to me...sure i hate to hear it but i know i gots to. maybe thats why i lost her...not following through. i got alot of stuff to change about myself and i know that i've been given this life to be constantly growing and changing. i hope that some of the things i've done doesn't push my friends away. 'cause i really like the friends i have right now...i need this group of friends to be consistent, i'm tired of constantly changing friend groups. i'm determined to keep these friends life long...so i guess since i love em imma change for em. dang...my bad guys
for everyone who i've annoyed or hurt by some of the schtuff i do...my bad.
thats all i can say...i've gotta work in following through. dammit.

dangit

2009-10-07T10:39:00.001-07:00

wish i knew how to play guitar and sing like john mayer

dangit

2009-09-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

dangit dude...tom's are so dope!

memory

2009-09-28T01:19:00.000-07:00

cant help but keep thinking about_________. its hard not to...dammit dude my minds preoccupied by one person.

running dry

2009-09-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

...i realized i really dislike it when people get in my face. i'm so glad i'm not the old me, but still i don't know how long i can take it.
God give me strength. i need to be a man of prayer and i need to control my mouth...lesson well learned.

wishful thinking

2009-08-13T02:46:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wish things would never go wrong. i believe the saying is true "good things never last". i really wished they would...dang it.

i feel like im in that car...everything going sosososo fast. can't believe its been almost 3 years its crazy.

ANYWAYS chillin' with the homies lately and its been SUPA fun. so sad alot of them be going back to berkley :[ can't wait to move in to my APARTMENT BABY! and i've also started my apps for cornell and UOR. hope i get in...dang dude i'm a 2nd year already.
that picture is super relative right now

eyes

2009-08-09T03:11:00.000-07:00

i gotta open my eyes...sometimes the best way is a slap in the face.
right now i feel like a drunk person being slapped in the face, i feel nothing.
i want to say it isnt so, SO badly...but truth hurts i guess. i want to defend the both of them, but it is what it is. I really wish that it is a big misunderstanding but i KNOW it isn't and i really wish he was my homie. sometimes the best way is a slap in the face. you can truly tell who cares about you 'cause they're the ones who tell you straight out. truth hurts but i mean that's why the people who speak the truth are the loneliest.

naivity

2009-08-07T02:04:00.001-07:00

man...i'm not letting go
ever. it'll be worth it hopefuly if not, i can say i tried my best

hardest part

2009-08-06T00:17:00.001-07:00

hardest part is letting go...but the most rewarding at the end

back home

2009-08-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

man...what a blessed short term missions it was.
this year went by so fast and i think its ;cause of my attitude...WAY different from last year...just really sad it had to end.
i've been doing alot of thinking and sometimes i wonder why i do things i do...why i say the things i say. alot of times i do it and regret it later idk why...maybe its human nature.
i should be mad about what happened...but i dont think that person knows that no matter what i can never be mad at that person.
this trip was such a growing opportunity and im sure i grew immensly from it i know i did...it was a big eye opener too.
hopefully i will not think that missions is over. i really hope and pray i will seriously have that mission mindset and heart.
just im curious to what i'll do in my free time...

i've decided next 3-4 years imma grow spiritually and mature and i'll fulfill what i promised to you...

feels good to be home

MIA

2009-07-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

i'm going to cambodia once again in a day...i'm pretty stoked i'll see you guys in august

chillin'

2009-06-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

summers chill...im sorta excited 'cause i'm leaving for cambodia soon
even though vacation has slowed down sick i know august will be mad fun. nothings really running through my mind at the moment, just trying to stay and become a good/better christian. and i realized how much fun it is to kick it with family, never realized it until recently. its super dope y'all with siblings or close cousins should try it

how

2009-05-30T03:22:00.000-07:00

how come some people ask for help but show that they really dont care about being helped?
and how do you approach a loved one and tell them that they're doing wrong and not offend them?...especially if you know they're offended by any type of corrections?
and how do you tell loved ones that they should change when you know that all you'll get is a slap in the face and be turned into an asshole?
how do you talk to a person who claims to be your friend but acts like a total jerk everytime you see them?

these questions have been plaguing my mind for the last week and has been even stumbling me. stumbling as in the way that some of my friends act really ticks me off...for example today i was totally thrown off by the way one of my "friends" reacted to me. it threw everyone off...that nigga needs to chill...man i don't get it. i try to be the nicest guy possible you know? and people usually tend to spit in my face and find some reason to hate me or be a total jerk to me.
i really wonder if any of this people have any idea of how badly my heartaches for them or how hard im trying to keep my temper or how im trying my best not to lose my cool and go all out... i wonder if they have ANY idea.
if anything they probably think im a dumbass and that they could probably take me...man that makes me sad.
i guess all i can do is seek God's guidance and pray for them...and hold my tongue and keep my fists at my side.
so hard to do...SO hard but i love my homies so i'll do my best to silently pray for them and take whatever happens to me.

PS: this isn't directed to you,my brother from another mother just to clarify!

music

2009-05-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

Distortion to Static-The Roots

Stay-Common ft. Lauren Hill

GO LISTEN

good terms

2009-05-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

it's weird how sometimes you can be so angry with someone but as soon as you see them all of that anger just disappears...realized the decision that was made was the best possible choice and its on good terms. maybe one day in the future,maybe this is what <3 feels like? being able to let someone go and be happy that they're going to become a better person and forgetting all resentment and grudges at their sight? maybe idk im still young.

PS: i dont mean agape <3...the other type yaddimean?

hardest thing

2009-05-09T13:17:00.001-07:00

the hardest thing to do is to hold my tongue...allowing my words to be words of gentle kindness and not words that are harsh and hurtful. i hope i can keep my words kind and gentle...its so hard to swallow pride and be nice sometimes.

question?...nvm i answered it

2009-05-08T01:49:00.000-07:00

im becoming a progressively harder person...and i dont mean as in muscular even though i am pretty muscular now (JK!) but im becoming colder. it sucks though 'cause im trying to stay the warm loving person instead of the cold indifferent person i am becoming. i know that i should be staying away from this 'cause im christian but as i get closer to God things are getting harder. at least i know im doing something right when it comes to faith...but i know that through QT and seeking guidance from God i will still stay the same. i just answered my own question -_- thanks blogger! yea!

"blood is thicker than water"

2009-05-04T15:52:00.000-07:00

i've got alot more time now, and going off of that i realized i'm really absent in the lives of my brothers. i want to be there for them but i tend to be selfish and do my own thing. i need to get crackin' on the whole positive influence thing and take care of them. 'cause when my parents are gone all i'll have will be them...thats a scary thought. i need to be there for my brothers more and help steer them in the right direction so they don't eff up like i did. gotta be a better brother!

change

2009-05-03T00:43:00.000-07:00

it's going to be weird...things aren't going to be the same after next week.
they're going to feel super odd. lets hope i dont let it get to me foreal, can't believe some of the shtuff that happened this past week. it was all worth it today though, felt SOO good when i saw those people stand up during the outreach altar call...there was a celebration in heaven today! i feel like summer is going to be so much more difficult then the school year....SOOO much more.

straight up: shits gonna be weird

burdens

2009-05-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

best way to rid once self of burdens is by giving it up to God. i'm so glad that i picked up lifting weights, i got to say that it is THE best way to relieve stress and anger...i want to look like the hulk JK

just imagine my head on that body its gna be tight...and i really want these shoes THEY SO DOPE

love

2009-04-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

i need to show love to everyone no matter what happens.

feels good to see the results of my working out showing...makes me happy LOL

2009-04-24T01:05:00.000-07:00

hardships create perseverance.

addiction

2009-04-19T18:15:00.001-07:00

i'm developing an addiction and obsession...it's weird i've never been so into it before BUT lifting weights and getting bigger is like fueling my life now lol i hope it dont get to bad but it will be friggin tight when the results show

people

2009-04-17T10:59:00.001-07:00

it sucks to know that everyone in my life will fail me and continuously disappoint me...even those that i love. and i will fail those in my life too...maybe thats why its hard for me to open up to people now a days...idk why is it that people i love usually push me away and when i'm nice to someone they usually end up shitting all over me? i dont get it...maybe i should stop being how i am...be more closed and not as friendly. i gotta stop thinking so much...only things that make sense right now is God and hitting the gym.

God please give me a more loving heart...please?

dang

2009-04-16T22:22:00.001-07:00

i hope my hair grows quick

you are who you kick it with

2009-04-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

i realized it's very hard to be yourself and that society has a tendency to kill everyone's individuality. kill is a harsh word but you know what i mean if someone is being themselves people tend to tell them to stop being themselves and it gets me disappointed...(these are just random thoughts that pop in my head while i drive so just to clear things up i'm not sad or nothing)life would be so much easier if the people around you were more accepting. i think the worst question ever thought up EVER was the question of "choose____ or choose God" i absolutely HATE that question because i know the answer...and that answer is God and i know by saying that i will lose friends. it's heartbreaking but i know that its ALWAYS the right answer to choose God...i wish i was like the 12 disciples i think its so amazing how they were able to drop everything and just follow Christ...i realized that ive never in my life have had a consistent group of friends...but i am glad i do have consistent friends in my life even if we do end up doing our own things for awhile i know we always on good terms. talking about friends; what they say is true "you are who you kick it with"...

If we get to see tomorrow I hope it's worth all the wait It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

2009-03-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

i find myself reminiscing alot...i really miss some of those days long ago. i think about it and remember thinking "i hope this never ends" there was this one week in particular...i think it was one of the best weeks of my life. every single day i hung out with a certain group of people...i think they know who they are. so much has changed since that epic week in 2007...and i'm glad how things worked out!!! :] ACED my tests tight my dream is almost within reach!! tizite
ps: DONT WORRY IM NOT DEPRESSED -_- i just miss the old dayss

uphill battle

2009-03-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

sometimes i feel like i'm fighting one...also feels like sometimes the people i care about the most push me away. oh well, what can I do...nada. gotta keep pushin' on i guess

친구

2009-03-09T22:59:00.000-07:00

if yall don't know what that means or don't know how to read it, it is korean for Friend. I know its super lame but i was watching a korean movie called 친구 and there was a line in it that made me think " a friend is a close and long companion". It made me think...do i have these kind of friends? and i realized that i do...and i'm glad i do. I'm glad that i have a small group of close and long companions, 'cause i know they'll be there for me and i'll be there for them, i mean there are those periods of times when you're super close with some people but they seem to all just drift away. But, lately i've been realizing more and more that there have been some people who have always been in my life and have seen every stage of me...y'all niggas know who you be. I really hope that i am able to hold on to these 친구's for the rest of my life..and i'm sure that i will.

homies

2009-03-05T09:48:00.000-08:00

My parents always told me that the friends i make in college are the ones that are going to stick with me through out my life. I'm seeing that this true 'cause i really don't keep up with many of my friend from highschool maybe aside from like 3 people. I hope i make some good lifetime brothas while in university. For my friends from highschool...i still got love. It sucks that no one keeps up after graduating highschool, everyone becomes preoccupied with their own lives...and i'm guilty of that too. I was thinking and sometimes i wish i had taken some different steps in junior year...everything might be different. But i'm happy with how everything ended up...i'm sure its for the best and how God intended...this one song called Gettin' Up-Q tip describes errthang...they're getting up...listen to that song its tight.

Blue Scholars

2009-02-26T23:01:00.001-08:00

hey guys if you're reading this y'all need to look up Blue Scholars...they're friggin sick...good song to start you off is Still Got Love. An amazing song for sure!

YOU!ME!DANCING!

2009-02-21T23:54:00.000-08:00

my official new favorite song(the entry title) LOL
its a from this tight band dude look em up Los Campesinos they're quite awesome...the music is so upbeat makes you wanna go run through a field of grass with a bunch of people in shortshorts and headbands its friggin awesome

step back

2009-02-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

i realized that i've been really enjoying my time alone...it's quite weird of me. I really like staying home and studying and reading books and stuff more then going out and stuff...i hope i aint becoming anti-social LOL.Sorry to my homies and just to tell you guys i am NOT at playing video games i'm getting ish done so i hope y'all are proud of me and i found a new hobby...music fishing with dennis LOL its pretty fun and exiciting.maaaaaan can't wait to spring break :]

mmm

2009-02-11T23:34:00.000-08:00

this entry is to apologize to all my friends. sorry guys that i've been so MIA, but i've decided i have to sacrifice some pleasures in life and do what i go to do to pursue my dream and what i consider happiness.don't get my wrong you guys have all brought of happiness into my life but i'm not too happy with where i am. i hope all you guys(teammates) understand.i can't stay here...i need to get out of this bondage called Socal...i gots to do what i gots to do...sorry everybody

enjoy

2009-02-06T23:06:00.000-08:00

raindrops dripping off my window sill sounds so soothing

dizang

2009-02-03T00:30:00.000-08:00

for some reason lately i've been doing A LOT of deep thinking LOL for no reason...i feel all profound and philosophical.i realized that a lot of people question my intelligence because of my goofball persona...it sucks lol OH WELL. all i know is that my true friends know that i got alot going on in my noggin'...some real deep ish yaddimean? i'm |---| this much closer to reaching my dream :] IMMA COMIN'! :] ill be there soon...real soon

i dont understand.

2009-01-31T22:43:00.000-08:00

feels like everyone i consider my loved ones are being so "eh" to me...i guess

destination:nowhere...NOT

2009-01-30T01:47:00.000-08:00

why is that everyone's blog is the same in this period of time? "i'm going nowhere" it's really sad to see my friends so...down and out. it's even more sad when i know no matter how much i talk to them and cheer them up it's going to do nothing...but i guess theres are pretty depressing times...cliche as it sounds, there is going to be a brighter day and call me stupid and idealistic but everyone should try and find something to hope in and do something to change themselves and their lives. no more mope-ing and sulking guys...we all have the potential not to only change ourselves but change everything that brings you down. so everyone try to feel like you have worth, feel like you're going somewhere, and try to be that happy go-lucky kid again...i miss that. and i'd like to apologize to all my friends for being absent in your lives especially in times when you guys aren't doing well...i really am sorry.

miracle

2009-01-25T20:48:00.000-08:00

dude it's a miracle that my face isnt swollen...i'm so confused lol WHY ISN'T MY FACE SWOLLEN lolol jkkj...it's a sad day i beat fallout 3. :[ starting tomorow i will disappear and commence project gtfoh (Get The F*** Outta Here) and it will be a pain but worth it...and i know for a fact things are going to happen for the better.

gotta work

2009-01-20T13:38:00.001-08:00

so, i remember something my cousin told me when i first started university...it was something like "Motivation is what gets you started, Habit is what keeps it going" yea lol she told me and i realized it was her myspace headliner thing. But this semster i'm going to build a habit if working harder...sorry guys i'm going to start being semi-MIA 'cause i need to get the blood out of socal

zombies

2009-01-07T13:32:00.001-08:00

dude frick i love killing them!

a good weekend

2009-01-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

too bad it had to end :[ now the wait begins once again :]

skys the limit

2009-01-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

I really like the song on my blog by Notorious B.I.G....makes me feel like i can pursue and achieve any goal i set my mind to with the help of God. 2009 is going to be a year of accomplishments and more change i hope :] hopeeveryone's new years day was as good as mind

happy new years!!

2009-01-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

dang last year was definitely a very full year. so many things happened i experienced so much and i know all of that will be in my memory and help me become the person i am going to be one day lol i'm really excited to see what 2009 brings i've made 2 resolutions and i wont share them...well one person knows and you know who you are! but anyways 2009 here i come! retreat...man retreat was very awesome both of them! EM retreat was great because i got to make new friends and start the reconciliation of a broken one. man it was pretty refreshing to just get away from the world and get back to God. i really know what i gots to do now and this break has been pretty good but i'm sad that a lot of people are going back to school and i'm going to be by myself again it was really good seeing some people especially! but again about 2009 i hope everyone uses their time wisely because yesterday is gone forever...btw i feel a lot more relieved and free and i'm appreciating the family i have at church...i realized no matter what happens i can always find sanctuary in them.

christmas

2008-12-25T15:33:00.001-08:00

i know what i want for christmas...

man i'm still trying to put aside all distractions and follow only the big guy. it's quite hard but hopefully retreat will help me refresh my spirtual walk i just hope it just isnt a emotional rile up...i really hope that i will reroute my walk into the narrow path. these last past weeks i realized the root of all my unhappiness...the lack of God's presence in my life. i realized in this last month i completely shut everything out and just pursued the easy way to kill the pain and that all the entries i did about praising God where genuine at the time i wrote it but as soon as i shut my laptop i wasnt thankful at all. i've fallen away too much too fast and this falling away shows how weak i am and how easily emotional distress effects me. i'm also realzing that you never really know how much something means to you until its gone...i think i've lost so much in this past month. suffered way more then i should've, i know that people out there are hurting more but any amount of pain is painful. i've lost one of the most important things in my life...my morals i guess and i lost a big part of my life as well...but ive got hope for the future. even though i'm thankful Jesus Christ was born this christmas pretty much sucked...i wish this christmas was like last christmas;happy and hopeful. theres always next year but then again you never know what 365 days can bring about...well it's time to try to get myself on track with God again. i know He is the only one who can mend my wounds and help me carry on because He has been carrying me this whole time. i know He has a plan for me let's just hope i can follow through.

time

2008-12-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

it's time to drop everything and follow God...but its so hard to let go of stuff
i can't help but think this is making everything worse...oh how i wish things were different. i could've taken different steps and everything could've turned out different,so different. Gah i'm an idiot whatevers...but frick why do i feel like this? i just wish...

drop errthang

2008-12-23T10:49:00.000-08:00

sometimes i wish i was like the 12 disciples...i wish i could just drop everything and follow the Big Guy but its so hard and it makes me sad because i'm thinking so hard over this but its such an obvious decision...dangit
christmas is coming...i dont feel it tho dang i'm so bleh

meh

2008-12-21T14:11:00.000-08:00

idk dudes...i'm in a dilemma. physical pleasures or retreat to God and quite possibly lose the respect of those who i care for the most...fuck

as of late

2008-12-20T12:24:00.000-08:00

i need to get right with God...i'm dealing with this in the most definite wrong way.

2008-12-19T09:44:00.001-08:00

"God loves
Take one step toward him, he takes two toward you
Even when all else fail, God supports you"
-Nas(Doo Rag)

finals!

2008-12-15T10:29:00.000-08:00

man i love studying for finals...but after next thursday! TIME TO CHEEEELLLL! sometimes i wish things wouldve turned out differently but then again im content with where i am. still feel like i'm going nowhere...and i'm not sure if its because i'm a korean guy or if its just me but i realized its really hard for me to talk about how i feel...idk its weird OH WELLS! :D christmas time!

life

2008-12-13T01:02:00.001-08:00

Everything is awesome and I'm really happy with myself and life is good...but my life feels like a scatter plot graph, no direction.

tight

2008-12-08T16:53:00.001-08:00

I can't believe my first semester as a college student is about to end and it's been one heck of a ride...I've experienced a lot in these last 3 months and i've met a lot of people too. And despite all the ups and downs i'm a pretty happy guy right now, i'm delighting in the Lord and trying live a life of thanksgiving and you know i think by living this way im showing God i trust in Him with every aspect of life. i really hope that this will rub off on other people around :]

mmmm

2008-12-06T16:39:00.000-08:00

i'm hoping that everything that happens is for the best...life is good but complicated :] i love procrastinating NOT lol frick FML but jk because God is good!

As I sit here...

2008-11-30T19:10:00.000-08:00

...ON MY TOILET! hey everybody thanksgiving wasn't as great as i thought it would be, but dang I sure am thankful for everything that i've experienced and received this year. I realize more and more everyday how gracious the Big Guy Upstairs is and how like everything He does works out. It's really funny how things work out, and through my short 18 years I'm realizing that when I'm in a "turbulence" in life all I got to do is trust in Him and though it may be hard God will carry me through it and end up teaching me a valuable lesson and help me grow spiritually and emotionally. Man, I love God. He is so amazing and everytime I think back on a time where I had drama or a trouble...it makes me realize that it helped me make the person I am today and its cool how God planned this all out. It's like one of those crazy big dominoes like at first you don't see much but in the end of everything you see a beautiful masterpiece revealed...and I don't know about you guys but that gives me comfort knowing that God has a great plan for me and each and every one of us.

my friends

2008-11-26T10:54:00.000-08:00

I'm very thankful for my friends. :]

Everything is beautiful.

2008-11-21T13:02:00.000-08:00

I mean what else is there to say? i realize more and more how much of God's magnificence and beauty I am immersed in. It's quite awesome. God is good amen?

Get Back Up Again.

2008-11-20T01:04:00.000-08:00

I realized that everything that happens is a learning experience...no matter how hard i fall on my knees i realized i can always get back up, but stronger.I'm really super duper ultra multra thankful that God has given me this amazing gift of optimism...I know it's hard to believe but the first thing i did when i was put into this situation was pray and i prayed a prayer of praise and thanksgiving. It's super hard for alot of people to comprehend the fact that even though I should be crying and what not I'm being optimistic and just rejoicing. I know everything that has happened, happened for a reason and I'll never forget the good times...but slowly and surely I will move on. I hope me and her both grow from this experience, and that we both grow in Christ and through this we will both realize God's plan for the both of us. I'm glad that i met her and i know we will always be friends.But for now it's time for both of us to move on an become spiritually prepared for the future. I'm really glad that I'm super optimistic I hope that this trait of mine will be rubbed off onto all my friends and the rest of the world...we all need optimism. And i know I'm rambling but I realize that since Jesus came and died for all of us none of us on this earth should be hopeless...man God is good for sending His only son so that us hopeless people would have a little glimmer of hope MAN that blows my mind...ok well 'nuff said. To sum everything up God is good, God is hope, and life goes on.

quotes

2008-11-18T21:30:00.000-08:00

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.

Anonymous

The End.

2008-11-16T23:53:00.000-08:00

"you don't really appreciate something until it's gone" man...its crazy how that maxim is so true. I'm realizing how important she was...until now. I messed up and I'm reaping what I sowed. Today at church we had a sermon about going into the wilderness and going through hardships, and through no matter what I should always be thankful and give praise to God. I'm trying to do just that...but it's so hard. Hopefully God has her planned for me later on.dangit is all i can say right now. I really hope this hardship is going to train me for later on...and i know even though i feel so...lonely and by myself God is right next to me with His arm around my shoulder...i love you

Firey mess

2008-11-16T00:18:00.000-08:00

Dang this weekend has been very...uneventful.Dangit jess THANKS FOR LEAVING US! frick. ANYWHOS i realized this past weekend how important each of my friends are to me, because if one is gone it seems like noone wants to hang out! what theff. but yea today was so wizack. It started out with my waking up at 10 30 and getting a call from my friend jeanna who needed help moving. SO i agreed and helped her move from fullerton to DB...it should've been a 15 min trip back from fullerton. BUT the fires....the fires came and all the freeways were blocked, not only that the uhaul truck we took broke down at a gas station!SO we called AAA and uhaul for help. They told us they would send a dispatch tow truck and they did, AAA told us that it would take 15 minutes BUT we suddenly realized that friggin all the freeways were blocked and all the local routes were hella jammed SO i spent my saturday waiting 6 hours for the tow truck. i missed out on fun today :[ frick. i hope tomorw is better...i really do. FIRCK HURRY AND COME BACK JESS! :[ we need you here. man one weekend without hanging out with my League of Superfriends feels like i haven't seen them in EONS!

(insert title here)

2008-11-14T08:19:00.001-08:00

I'm really scared right now.

eh

2008-11-12T19:38:00.000-08:00

i don't know why i made the choices i made...but everything happens for a reason. It's hard but I have to praise God and give thanks in every situation...but man it's hard. whatevers everything works out for the better no matter how sticky,crappy, and bad the outcome is. fml
OH btw i was reading my old posts...and i realized boy did i change ALOT like the way i talk my priorities and when i read some of the stuff i read im just like "wtf? i wrote that?" lol man...time really does change people and time has pretty much hardened me. I'm coming to MANY realization, i realize that I'm not as much of a warm person anymore...i'm a pretty cold person. i realized i can't befriend random people anymore and i also realized i look at the world differently now...ok guys NOW you must do that long list of ridiculous to gain access to my personal realm. if you mess one thing you get a jumping flyinf double kick to the neck. POW!

sundays

2008-11-10T00:57:00.000-08:00

dang dude so i realized more and more how much of life i DONT have...right now it revolves around watching stocks(i own none) and video comments. I really do wish videocommenting on facebook was an occupation because like i would be The Chosen One of this job. but nope theres no way i can survive in life with this talent i have. Funny thing is people are requesting video comments LOL! man it feels good knowing people laugh AT me not WITH me oh well...it don't matter. I made a kid cry today, it was something over ridiculous too. He called me fat and saw the anger burn in my eye and he did a quick save by saying "Or is that muscle?" so i got him in a headlock and he started crying....i felt horrible especially because he was 17 years old. Oh well lol. But I'm really enjoying the people i hang out with currently...it would friggin awesome if my girlfriend was here though. Boy do i miss her :[ frick why couldn't NY be like next to CA? oh well but i really do love my homies and homettes they're so awesome. I was thinking...and i dont understand why the people who follow this blog follow it lol especially because like i see them almost everyday (sorry smeza i miss you!)and nothing really happens in my life! but even though nothing happens i see God's amazingness everywhere...it's hard to see sometimes but when you just sit in the silence and observe everything around you, you slowly realize that everything you're surrounded by ,no matter how boring it is, was all made by God and man that just blows my mind. It's so hard to like pour out what's going on in my life on this blog...because its so impersonal when people read about my problems.As of now I've no problems! I'm pretty content with life and I hope everyday is a new adventure and I also hope that I will be welcome to change whenever and whatever it may come and be. WELL this is the longest entry of my life and I will never do this again...NEVER so if you want to read more about what's snapping in me life...come in front of me and snort 3 times, do the chicken dance, do 2 and 1/2 backflips, bring me a shirt of mythril(dragonscales), an ewoks paw, a sandraiders sword, one half cup of boulder juice,three glasses of curvash, 7 teaspoons of Essence of Resanthumilong, and lastly master my secret ultra super mega covert handshake.

today

2008-11-03T00:17:00.001-08:00

dang dude...to be honest I didn't want this day to end. I've realized I'm blessed to have not gone off the college because...my best friends are still here with me.Well, at least until summer ends...then my best friends go off to college. aw frick

dry contacts

2008-11-02T01:59:00.000-07:00

dude...i love dry contacts because when i blink all crazy like people think that I'm winking at them. Talking about winking half the girls that i know...wait no 3/4 of the girls that i know cant wink to save their lives. It is so funny because they try so hard to wink but they just cant. It's heart breaking but so friggin funny. But i digress...i love regulating makes me feel so...regulatory. yeee i love water that is basic...taste so darn good. Talking about water i love fiji water. I hope the people who follow this blog...ALLLLL 2 of them (:[) get pissed off when they see this. I am in need of a life...right now. I want to destroy this one guy...actually two guys. Show them the true meaning of Fists Of Fury....they have no idea what is coming to them. Thosee *beep* *beep* mother *beep* *beep* *beep* Beepp*. That's right...radio edit. But anywho yea. Gn1T3 everybody...bringing that AZN PRYD3 thing back. <3 ">

OH BTW..DONT MESS WITH US...it is bad for your health.

cover up

2008-10-23T00:40:00.000-07:00

i realized im very good at hiding what im really feeling. lifes chill but its starting to hit some turbulance...someone save me please

:[

2008-08-31T01:56:00.000-07:00

dangit :[ i miss jennifer so much...dangit

the end

2008-05-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

we gots two days left in highschool...but it doesnt feel like it. feels super surreal ive always dreamt of graduation but never thought it would come so fast...im gonna miss being sheltered. end of a chapter in my life and a brand new chapter is about to start. im pretty stoked for summer...mang its gonna be TIGHT. TEAMMATES! WE"RE GONNA KICK IT ERRDAY! even if u have summerschool! bonquiqui and wadidadang! -------->

thats how we gonna look errday!

messedup

2008-05-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

dang...i messed up big time. i feel like crap. i dont know what do...fuck

ignorance

2008-04-01T16:46:00.000-07:00

i was a victim of racism and prejudice today...i hate people who get racist on you just becuase you follow the rules of the road. makes me so mad...i hope God blesses those people who called me a chink.

God's plan

2008-03-16T22:07:00.000-07:00

maaaaaaan. every letter from a college i get is a letter of rejection. it is really hard to trust in God right now and even harder to believe that He has something better in store for me...but it's times of trials and tribulation when character is built. i really hope that i get in at least one university

bittersweet

2008-03-05T14:59:00.000-08:00

you know life has been pretty chill lately. everything is pretty good...got good friends, it's senior year, pretty good in my walk with Christ, got a girl...everything is pretty good but even with all this sweetness there is bitterness. it is a pretty crappy feeling when you await college acceptance letters and instead of acceptance letters you get rejction letters, and what makes even worse are those people who make fun of you for being rejected. thankfully the friends im close with are all pretty supportive and help me out in this time but man i do despise those who are negative and try to make other people negative...freaking haters. but hey life is still pretty good

Three Little Birds

2008-02-12T21:38:00.000-08:00

you know what i realized in the last couple of weeks? i have realized that life is too short and that it shouldnt be spent worrying and being angry. life is way too short to have enemies and so i made peace with the few people i had beef with and it feels pretty good. why spend like worrying when i know the God has everything in his hands and in his control? today i prayed with my friends andrew and richelle during passing period...it was the 2nd time i did that at school and im begining to like it, makes me go to class with a smile and i really do like it and i think about it everyone should stop worrying about their troubles. it's like bob marley's song Three Little Birds...every little thing, is gonna be alright! there is always a brighter day! so im going to try to live life on the brighter side and stop worrying as much. i also realized when i trust in God life becomes a little more brighter. i know it sounds very corny but i think its true...all you christian brothers and sisters out there should try it. trust more in God and you will find yourselves smiling more and being more positive. well thats all ive got to say

torn apart

2008-02-03T19:57:00.000-08:00

what to do...

Sunshine

2008-01-26T00:53:00.000-08:00

it has been very dark and gloomy lately and makes everything more sad. everytime i see a little beam of sun it makes me smile. it made me realize that there is always hope and that even the smallest light shines in the darkness. im in a dilemma. i dont know if i should give up or keep hoping that something might work out. if i give up i will have so many opportunties but if i keep hoping theres a chance that i succeed and theres a chance that i might fail. but then again life is about taking risks and chances. maaaan. i break concrete falling for you.

Trooper

2008-01-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

man I have come to the realization that being christian is really hard. everyday i come face to face with sin and im trying my best to resist and fight temptation but sometimes...its just really hard. prayer and reading the Bible are my weapons. i need to focus more on God and continue fighting the good fight. if there are fellow christians reading this please pray for me so i will stay strong and continue being a good christian. on a brighter note God is good, no joke. He makes me realize everyday how weak i am without Him and shows me all my weaknessess. i really need to fix a lot of stuff in my life. i thank God everyday for showing me how to become a stronger christian. i also thank God for everything he has created. I realized im surrounded by so much beauty and that all this beauty was created by God and it completely blows me away and the fact that He knows the name of everything He has created and every single detail about it makes me even more amazed. i am so thankful and greatful for such an awesome and loving God. He is good.

fading

2008-01-14T22:44:00.000-08:00

hmm God is good.
but idk whats going on in my heart right now...so confused

hmmm

2008-01-13T17:24:00.000-08:00

maaan
"friends" are awesome

Raze- to break down

2008-01-07T23:42:00.000-08:00

Winter retreat was pretty awesome. i dont got no pictures =( but i realized i was dwelling in the past and that i shunned God so much during 2007. i really hope that i can stay strong in my faith. its amazing how fast my willpower was tested, as soon as i got back from retreat i was offered weed WOW! but i refuesed =).
i have sooo much to be thankful about such as "friends" ;] and i realized that i just need to trust in God and i wont be worried, and so far its been working. ive been living everyday just trusting that God will provide and ive been pretty happy and worry free. for all you believers out there you shouldnt worry about the tribulations and troubles u're going through, instead rejoice in the Lord. you will be surprised how relieved u will be.

DAAAANG MAAAANNG

2007-12-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

my vacation in vancouver WASHINGTON is pretty gnarly. even though it rains here 24/7. snowboarding here is awesome because there is actually snow. andd if you guys all have a chance visit downtown portland its pretty friggin awesome. it has a pretty booming underground music scene and the nightlife is awesome. well ill see you guys in like 4 days

meeeow

2007-12-16T20:57:00.000-08:00

hey all. not much going on. i realized that relationships are headaches and that walnut is very boring and i think that is why there are so many stoners here.

what the

2007-12-09T23:24:00.001-08:00

last couple of days have been pretty chill. nothing new. can't wait till winter break. hopefully ill be able to get my tatt.--->

idk

2007-12-05T00:34:00.000-08:00

idk lately ive been feeling very bleak. need JESUS man. but today was ok. WHS wrestling beat DBHS wrestling nice!. pretty happy that it happened. but now i have nothing to look forward too. hopefully saturday will be bomb KNOCK OUT!

gnarlkill

2007-12-02T00:58:00.001-08:00

what a bummer day

All Nighter

2007-11-30T03:57:00.000-08:00

dang. I love pulling all nighters!! NOT! man college applications are such a pain in the butt. why can't like the college's determine our acceptances through fights? that way the most skilled go to school and unskilled have to keep trying to go to college. but dang am i glad to finish all my apps finally! 4 in the morning! YEA! go me! i have a real bad case of senioritis+procrastination. WHOA bad combo! today was kind of a bummer. A BIG bummer. but im not going to school tomrow! YEA!
hopefully it'll be better with no school. man senior years half way down...dang highschool is going by fast it's kinda scary.

The Team

2007-11-26T18:46:00.000-08:00

Man, i really wish i could've wrestled today but in the stead of wrestling i was given the opportunity to hang out with the team and boy did i miss them. It was a refreshing feeling hanging out with the team. I've been really happy lately. I dont know why, but it's probabaly kuz im getting in shape =D YEA! operation spartan is a go! man im pretty stoked for wednesday. and man there isnt anything else to say SO YEAP!

Wonder Emporium

2007-11-21T23:50:00.001-08:00

today was preprerpreprepretty good

Whiskey is a Go-Go

2007-11-17T11:07:00.000-08:00

Man yesterday was a bummer but ended pretty well. A lot of crap happened during the day, but all this crappiness was nullified by the gig me and the band played. EVEN though i kinda came late and forgot the new song everything else went pretty well, we had a pretty good crowd feedback. Afterwards me pio dennis michelle and babykim went to Chipotle and grubbed down and ended a very up and down day. but am i pretty bummed right now =( i didnt get to go to early morning prayer. hopefully today will be a little better than yesterday.

3-5

2007-11-13T22:01:00.001-08:00

dang. 2nd practice of season and man am i pooped! it'll be worth when i get my spartan body. =)